I'm having flashbacks now.
Looking at all our old pictures, taken from way back when I was happy. Taken when everything was alright and I had nothing to worry about because I knew you were always gonna be there for me.
I can erase them from the camera, the computer. The polaroid pictures can be torn apart. The photographs can be cropped.
But it'll always be on my mind.

I open the window and look at the highway. I see the buses and cars zooming past, and I recall the bus rides we used to take. Wanting them to continue forever.

I read the letters you wrote to me. I re-read and react slowly. I'll never forget.
I look at the things you bought for me, and I reminisce.
I watch the videos we used to take with all our friends last time. Birthdays, screaming sessions and every other random thing we did while bored.

I read my old blog posts about the outings we had together.
Outings with that same group of people that we had always enjoyed being with.
Movies, beaches, or simply just hanging out. I miss them all.

I know you're never coming back. I know I can pray and wish and hope, but you won't change your mind. God can, but he'll let you decide.
It's tough seeing all the people we used to be so close to. Now the friendship's fading. Going, going and sooner or later, it'll be gone.

I write your name over and over on a piece of paper.
I take out the lighter, the matches and I open the window.
I click the lighter on.

But I can't bring myself to burn that simple piece of paper.
Just looking at your name brings a stake to my heart.
Hearing your name knocks regret into my head.

I miss you so.

xoxo.